The Ballad of Death Maverick

Rain rain all the time so fugging sick of this motorcycle ride
Wanna buy a car to be my friend and only have $300 to spend

Down to Tacoma exit 135 on my Suzuki just barely alive
Main fuse blows on the exit ramp around so I coast that mothersucker right into town

Center stand park in a visible position lock the saddle bags lock the ignition
Walk to the cheapest-ass dealer in town, can't believe all the stinking hulks around

Nothing with an air cleaner, moldy and disgusting
Cars filled with garbage, broken glass and rusting

Tried to start a few but they wouldn't even fart
Must have been a bad oil bullet through the heart
Must have been a bad oil bullet through the heart

But there, so sweet and white, twice the price I was wanting to pay
Sits Death Maverick like a block of ice, $499 is the asking price
$285 gonna drive,  $285 gonna drive Death Maverick home today

She fired up and I fought like a champ, drove her back up that northbound ramp
Picked up the bike 36 hours later with my brother riding shotgun in his 87 Blazer

And for 2 sweet years she kept me dry, kept me horny, made me cry
Rust in her cables, grime in her gears, horrible brakes, unidentified smears

In that driver's seat l I could have worn a mullet
with crooked teeth, smelling like a pullet

But some romantic notion of Detroit kept the undertaker on a road to exploit
The coming demise of Death Maverick
The inevitable demise of Death Maverick

At rest by the curb all day, cruising 99 late at night
Old Death Maverick like a Moon of steel, lonely midwest boy in pale light
$285 gonna drive,  $285 gonna drive Death Maverick at the wheel

Problems beginning and violent ends to means we win again and again
Crossing the bridge early in the morning at the other
end a car does a u-turn

Without warning can't quite finish the job so I hit the brakes as easy I can
but Death Maverick starts to slide and skate like a one ton whale toward a pearly gate

And the choice is clear hit the curb or the car, without insurance it was no decision
That 15 inches of concrete and steel broke the tie rods underneath the right front wheel

Here comes the undertaker right on time, tows her away and throws me a dime
The final rest of Death Maverick begins
The final rest of Death Maverick begins and ends