Thursday, January 25, 2007

Neural net

the challenges of existing with a brain that has been shaping me my whole life rise and fall with each given day. yesterday there was an attempt by my thinking to ensnare me in old patterns that could lead to my loss of trust in self, lost of trust in the process of living in truth, making me believe that conversations i know were full of integrity were actually conceived to trick me. it was when i went home for lunch and the beautiful sun was shining down all around, warm air flooding into the open door, i had gone in to retreive some tobacco, upset, and then i stepped out into the weather, focused on what that moment was about and through the grace of living one day at a time, in gratitude, my simple life returned. i began counting my blessings and lost count as they stacked up beside me on the walkway for my apartment. they started skipping off through the parking lot and fluttering up to the 2nd and 3rd floor completely out of my control, barking at me from accross the street, burning holes in my crust with the magnifying glasses of polished tears, angel ice thawing gradually in a stream down the middle of my back, trapeze swing, hang upside down, catch the hands of now and swing a few more long and large arching soaring swings, then let go and fall fly fall fly into the neural net of love.


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